Page Me
To keep on top of my record of 'visual psalms' - I'm aware I have pages that need to be uploaded here.
This was done on the 28th/29th of May - after a walk along the seafront - aware of being stalked, as usual, Aware of the 'harassment skits' as I stopped to talk to a friend I hadn't seen in a long, long time.
I'm guessing they have no real idea of how it feels on the inside to be subjected to these little 'games' - I'd like t think they'd be mortified if they knew; though for some I'm intuiting they feed on the horror I feel and must surely broadcast palpably.
I refused to go out for quite some time after this; shutting off my phones; unplugging; unable to use my computer or keep up my Facebook project. Very down and feeling utterly helpless & powerless, which is, I suppose the object.
How can anyone survive such a long-term, ongoing onslaught? Prayer; my Bible; good friends, and these precious little pages that allow me to express and find a way of coming to terms with what I have had to suffer.
Days are roller-coaster; a night of anguished replays and fretfulness can lead to waking in perfect peace - almost like sweating out a fever - allowing it to break.
I'm so grateful to these little art outlets - a technique that has stood me in good stead for many years, but which became dormant throughout the stalking ordeal - perhaps too traumatized to be able to begin to come to terms with what was happening to me; I so very much didn't want to accept it was true.
Amazed to come to this, last night:
