Another visual 'psalm'. realizing it's a lot better to work more quickly - no deliberating. This one took longer than 10 minutes - I might need to work more loosely and quickly, and stick to 10 mins - dunno, it's a new project-thing. This technique that so completely changed my life and gave me a voice when I was mute for so long, seemed to fail me these past few years; maybe I wasn't ready to begin coming to terms with the horror of what I've been going through: I just didn't want to believe any of it was happening. Too difficult to confront; even my counselling sessions were encroached upon. No limits to the violations I had to field. How is anyone supposed to be able to deal with that kind of thing? Especially when it's too far-fetched to believe? And, I didn't want to believe it myself. Relieved the pages are beginning to speak up for me now. Important to Feel - even if it's painful. I was trying Not to feel - for the longest time, even before all this started up. It's a weird kind of blessing.
I thought I'd done for the day, but these seem to come in 3s...
I listen to You Tube a lot, and like to be Doing something at the same time, so....
I notice the 1st one starts off dark or heavy - slams out the pain of what I've been going through, then each succeeding piece seems to lighten up somewhat. Interesting process.
No comments:
Post a Comment